沒頭腦的摩天大樓

我活着,真的。

I'm not fine 

2007/05/24
Thu. 02:27

Congratulations to my parents! I'm gonna lose my part-time job. Actually, I am not that surprised when the director told us the news. All of the students who have this 90-days-limitation of the taxcard will not be able to extends the contract. She said it is a really bad news, but I don't think so. Well, for me, it is really a kind of relax, a break in this whole period of time. However, being released from the hard work, it also means that my life is once again depended on my parents. I have to reduce any luxury payout in order to make ends meets. No new cosmetics, no new dress, not even a movie-day. I feel like losing freedom of my personal life, and staying in the another passive state.


But all these are not the reason why I does not feel OK. I am afraid of something. If Art is an imitation of Life, then why the reality takes place right after me writing that dxxx story? If Life is an imitation of Art, then why the life does not ends pretty the same as I wrote? What will everything be like at last Tuesday? What will I react in that final situation? Will I turn around? Will I take the Strassen-Bahn alone the street? Or, will call out the name to remind that forgetting writing the name on the list?? What will be the freezing picture?


I've totally no idea.


I have great angst about the unseeing future.


I drink for pleasure, but not tonight.


[edit]

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